The comfort of friends

I am often amazed at both the tenderness and the cruelty that human beings are capable of. Along with owning a gym, I also manage an office a few hours a day. My boss is an older American gentleman. He is very amusing and often uses southern expressions that I do not understand. An example of which is “I am up to my knees in alligators and have no way of draining the swamp.” I thought that this had something to do with going to the bathroom, I guess because of its reference to water and drainage. Turns out I was way off base and it refers to having far too much to do with no end in sight. Like Nostradamus his statements can mean just about anything until fully explained. He would be amused that I would compare him to Nostradamus since the two are very little alike. Bob dresses in jeans and t-shirts, races cars and takes little care with what he puts in his mouth, from food to cigarettes. He is however a source of endless entertainment for me. He is high strung and often goes off on tangents yelling and carrying on. Although his rants are thrown in my direction they are seldom directed at me. He will vent about just about anything and often without cause. Banking, Orders, Invoices will send him into a tailspin. I will sit back quietly until the storm passes and then do my best to fully explain the situation, assure him that all is under control and that there is no need to worry. Yesterday was an uncharacteristically bad day for both of us. I reached the office late, he was in a rush to leave for a business trip, and we were up to our knees in Alligators…etc. The circumstances caused us both to be about 4 degrees above irritated and with only the other to take it out on, we spent a good 3 hours at each others throats. My normal patience for his rough edges was wearing thin and his normal intolerance for detail was at an all time high. I had a headache and was in no mood for the volume of noise he was producing. He was being unusually cruel and eventually he wore me down and I began to withdraw. I became reserved and was not providing him with my normal calm reassurance. He continued his barrage of negative remarks and I continued to retreat. I was on the verge of tears when I rose from my seat and announced that he could continue yelling if he liked but I was leaving. As I walked past him, he reached out and stroked my hair. I looked at him and all the anger, agitation and contempt was gone from his face. In its place was understanding. “Go home.” He said, “Take an Advil and put your feet up. I am sorry.”
I felt my shoulders relax and my headache ease. The tension of the day evaporated with just the touch of a friend. He was not my boss at that moment. I looked at him and realized that we were friends as well as colleagues. That we recognized the others limits and responded when appropriate. Nothing more needed to be said. What a comfort it is to work with a friend.

I see a little boy and he’s sitting all alone.
He seems to be so sad
I walk towards him, but he tells me to go away
So I do

He keeps looking my way
And I think that he is ready to talk
Maybe he is, but when I approach again
He waves me off

I stand and watch as he grows
Like a movie his life plays out before me
I see him laugh and cry
I see him sleep

I see him make friends and play hockey
He sings in the school concert
But every time I try to go near him
He turns away

I get angry at him and say things
I don’t mean what I say, I want his attention
But he starts moving farther away
And so do I

He’s older now, almost a man
There is a canyon between us
I shout across but he doesn’t hear me
Or does he

I yell I’m sorry, I shout I love you
He looks my way but he doesn’t come closer
He doesn’t look as angry anymore
But he does look sad.

He starts to move out of my sight
I strain to see him as he moves away
He doesn’t even wave
Good bye boy

In the distance I see a movie playing
It is the boys life from his eyes
In it he is calling but I don’t hear him
He turns away


He is looking at me waving
But I am busy and I am not watching
So I miss his call
He turns away

He is trying to show me things
My attention is somewhere else
And I miss his attempt
He turns away

Flash forward to a grown man
He stands across that canyon waving
I see him this time and I wave back
He smiles

The canyon dissolves and slowly disappears
He stands before me
So much larger than I remembered him
I missed you

I tell him how sorry I am
And that I love him very much
He says I know you do
He smiles


I am so sorry Ryan, I hope one day we can be friends.

I love you!

Mom

Time to Get Real Fit

I own a small Ladies only gym. The mornings begin early for the gym crowd and I have a very dedicated group of members who arrive at 6am, not a second before and not a second after, 6am on the button. They are very energetic and bring a whole new enthusiasm to my ordinarily hum drum mornings. The music is very techno and drums along at 132 beats per minute as recommended by the industry. They don't care about that though, hell they don't even notice. They chat and swing their hips during the cardio portion. They "change stations" every 30 seconds while carrying on a hearty conversation about life, kids, work with the person next to them. I can't hear what they are saying, but I can see them smiling from ear to ear, nodding enthusiastically and then roaring with laughter. It is a site to see really and humbling. All these women leave their homes early every morning to come here and socialize with others just like them. They share little in common in terms of lifestyle but their bond is their gender, they are sisters here. They don't feel the need to dress in fancy spandex, they don't worry about the little bit of fat they have earned over the years. They don't pull down their shirts embarrassed by the tummy 3 pregnancies has produced, they don't look around to see if judgemental eyes are starring at them. Here they are safe from a world that judges imperfect women so harshly. This is their world and it is never more apparent than when a man enters it. They stop what they are doing and look at him with inquisitive eyes. What is this creature doing here? I imagine for a moment that the male who has stumbled upon them feels oddly out of place. He looks behind him searching for the little sign of a lady in a dress indicating women only. He looks at me apologetically when he realizes what this is. He grins uncomfortably and tries not to look directly at any of them. I smile sympathetically at him and try to reassure him with my smile that he will not be eaten alive. He is a Delivery Man with a parcel. The women slowly return to their workout but it lacks its luster. The ladies go through the motions, their eyes do not leave the outsider at the door, they do not speak, they do not breath. I sign his paper and he rushes away, thankful that we have spared his life. An audible sigh is released from the members simultaneously and the chatter begins again.

I love it here.